Do you support building a
factory in your hometown?
Estimated score: 6.0/6.0:
This essay follows the standard pattern of a
good TOEFL essay--it has simple, clear points that are supported with examples.
I particularly like the way the writer was very specific about how water pipes
would have to be replaced; this detail makes the essay seem well planned and
makes its writer seem insightful.
TestMagic has edited this essay to make it
score 6.0. The original essay did not mention the name of the town, leading to
a decrease in vividness.
I am from Arroz e Feijao, a small town in the northeast of
Brazil. Building a factory in there will bring a lot of advantages and
disadvantages, but I believe that Arroz e Feijao will mostly benefit from the
building of a new factory because it is largely populated by poor people and
the factory would bring many benefits to this small town. However, of course, a
factory has disadvantages as well.
As you know, factories usually bring pollution. If this
factory is not managed very effectively and efficiently according to specific
rules, it's prone to polluting the local air and water. What's more, factories
usually make noise. Beside clean drinkable water and fresh air, an ideal
community should be quiet. If the factory cannot maintain this situation to the
community, it will not last long. A factory that is too noisy or pollutes too
much will eventually be relocated to a new area.
On the other hand, a factory could bring a lot of benefits
to the community. So I would support the plan to build a factory to my
community for all the reasons I will describe below.
First of all, the factory's construction will surely improve
the local infrastructure. To run smoothly, the factory will have to have a
steady, reliable supply of water and electricity. Some old pipes will be
changed, and some facilities will be renovated. The residents' living standard
get improved as a result of these widespread changes, an important benefit in
Arroz e Feijao, where many people do not have access to clean water.
Secondly, to make the employee commute more convenient, the
local roads will have to be rebuilt and broadened, resulting in improved public
transportation. The town's residents can take a public bus to go shopping or go
to work. As a result, air pollution and fuel consumption might be reduced.
Most important, a factory's establishment will bring up a
lot of employment opportunities for the community. A factory need experts from
various fields. The residents can take just a few minutes to go to the factory
to work. So, the local residents can get great benefits from this factory.
Generally speaking, I agree with the plan to build a factory
near my community. If the factory can be managed successfully, the factory and
local residents can have mutual benefit.
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