TOEFEL ESSAYS (Think of a new holiday ???)

Think of a new holiday.

Notes from Class: Raise your score to a 4.0

Note: Some students have a hard time learning how to write a basic essay. Most of the notes from this class show how to raise our essay scores from a 2.0 to a 4.0.

What is the point of the topic?

Essentially, this topic asks us to think of something that has been overlooked (ignored) by people in our country.

Ideas

We were able to come up several good ideas for new holidays. Here are the best ones (the ones that are easiest to write about but are also interesting) from class:

• Reading Day
• Flower Day
• Plant Day
• Grandmother's Day
• Pet Day

The Best Topic: Walking Day

Nuch came up with this idea. This is a great idea because we can talk about several important things:

First, people need to exercise more in their lives and walking is a good way to do this.

Second, by walking instead of driving or using public transportation, people can reduce pollution and thereby protect the environment.

Finally, by walking, people are deliberately slowing down their lives. This is a good way to reduce stress and learn to think about our lives.

If you would like to write on another topic, I think "reading day" is the second best choice.

Outline

For this kind of topic we can write three topics sentences and then make those sentences into paragraphs.

This is what we did in class:

(Introduction)

·        First, walking is good exercise.

·        Second, by walking, we can reduce pollution and thereby protect the environment.

·        Third, by walking, people can slow down the pace of their lives.

·        Finally, we could celebrate this holiday by encouraging people to walk instead of driving or taking the bus for at least one trip during the day.

(Conclusion)

Here, we essentially have the outline for our essay. The next step is to add some more sentences to complete the essay. Here's an example of how would could do that:

 Estimated Score: 5.5/6.0

Most countries already have many holidays. In my country, Taiwan, we have nineteen official holidays. However, I believe that my new holiday, "Walking Day" would be very beneficial and should be added to the nineteen holidays Taiwan already has. In this essay, I will outline the three main reasons why "Walking Day" would be a very good holiday.

First, walking is good exercise. As we all know, people all over the world are becoming busier and busier. They are studying more and more so that they can have better jobs. When they work, they are working more and more. As a result, people have less time for other important things in their lives, including exercise. We can read reports in the newspapers everyday about people who have worse health and complain about poor health condition. Many of these problems could be reduced by exercising more and walking is one of the best and simplest exercises for people.

Second, by walking, we can reduce pollution and thereby protect the environment. As technology improves all over the world and people have more and more money, they are starting to use this money to buy automobiles. As a result, people are using public transportation less and less. Driving one's own car every day has had a very large impact on the environment as a result of the pollution created by gas burning automobiles. Walking is the perfect way to reduce pollution since there are so many other benefits as well.

Finally, by walking, people can slow down the pace of their lives. Perhaps this is one of the greatest benefits of walking more. Life at the beginning of the new millennium is stressful--people are competing with each other for better jobs, countries and companies are competing with each other for business. Many people start to forget about the importance of slowing down in their lives, of simply enjoying the moment. People need to contemplate life more. Walking is a perfect opportunity to slow down, think about life, and simply enjoy the big, beautiful world that we live in.

Finally, we could celebrate this holiday by encouraging people to walk instead of driving or taking the bus for at least one trip during the day. I believe that people could find at least one trip during the day that they could make on foot instead of some other form of transportation. For example, if people usually drive to a large supermarket to buy food, perhaps they could walk to a closer, smaller market to buy only a few things. I believe that while people were walking, they would be able to enjoy the exercise and the fresh air and would be able to think calmly and clearly.

In short, if I had to create a new holiday, I would create "Walking Day" because of the many simple benefits it could provide us.

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