TOEFL Essays (Now-a-days)

Here i am posting few Toefl essays along with there estimated scores , hope it will help you in rectifying your mistakes ! 

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved

the way people live?

 estimated score: 6.0/6.0:

This essay has very good organization and good ideas.  has edited the essay that was submitted so that it would receive a higher score.

One important note: people in the United States are using words like man, mankind because they are starting to sound sexist. Instead, we are using words like humankind because they do not sound as sexist.

BEFORE

Man, through the ages, has undergone lots of changes. From a period when he hunted for his food to the present era where man is dependent on preprocessed foods. During this period not only has man changed his mode of eating but his whole lifestyle. In pursuit of more in this competitive world man no longer has time. He is caught in a race against the clock. A person who finishes more in lesser time is considered more efficient. This has affected his eating habits as well. Man no longer has time to cook food. Early mans only objective was to seek food to sustain them. Now days it has taken a back seat.

Food no longer is of that importance. This is not an encouraging trend. People are dependent on preprocessed or precooked food. It no longer has the freshness it had. Such foods loose their mineral and vitamin content and are not as healthy as fresh food. That’s why the number of diseases are also rising. People have also shifted to high calorie content food like French fries, pizzas, and ice creams etc. that is causing obesity, weariness etc. Cooking is an art which his dying out. People enjoyed cooking . It was a means of elevating all the stress and tension. They could relax during this time and take control of their life. As man is becoming busy and too involved in his busy schedule he has no time even to take care of his own personal needs.

People may tend to argue that by using precooked and preprocessed food they are efficiently using time and can use this precious time saved for other purpose. But is it really worth it? This is a question whose answer can invite lots of speculation as by saving this little time we are inviting lots of other problems, which could easily be avoided. It is not actually making our life simpler but more complicated. More the sophistication in ones lifestyle more is the complication. Moreover precooked food lacks the taste of freshly prepared food. Any day food prepared freshly tastes better that precooked food.Now days almost every thing is available in packets. Cooking has become a ritual. It is something, which almost every one avoids. If this trend continues then slowly the art of cooking will disappear and man will become totally dependent on packeted and precooked food, which is not only bad for health but also tasteless.

AFTER

Man, through the ages, has undergone many changes, from a period when he hunted for his food to the present era when man is dependent on preprocessed foods. During this period not only has man changed his mode of eating but his whole lifestyle as well. In pursuit of more in this competitive world, man no longer has time as he once had. He is caught in a race against the clock. A person who finishes more in lesser time is considered more efficient. This pressure to do more in less time has affected his eating habits as well and, as a result, man no longer has time to cook food. Early man's only objective was to seek food to sustain him and his family. Nowadays finding food has taken a back seat to other priorities, such as career and education.

Food is no longer of that importance. This is not an encouraging trend. People are too dependent on preprocessed or precooked food, which no longer has the freshness it once had. Such foods loose their mineral and vitamin content and are not as healthy as fresh food. That is why the number of diseases is also rising. People have also shifted to high calorie content food like French fries, pizzas, and ice cream, etc., which is causing obesity, fatigue, etc. As man is becoming busy and too involved in his busy schedule, he has no time even to take care of his own personal needs.

Furthermore, cooking is an art which is dying out. People once enjoyed cooking . It was a means of eliminating stress and tension. People were once able to relax during this time and reflect on their lives.

People may tend to argue that by using precooked and preprocessed food they are efficiently using time and can use this precious time saved for other purposes. But is it really worth it? This is a question whose answer can invite much speculation about whether by saving this little time we are inviting lots of other problems, which could easily be avoided. It is actually making our lives not simpler but more complicated. We have lost many of the simpler things in our lives, like the simple acts of selecting our evening meal, preparing it, and enjoying it with our loved ones, and we are worse off for it.

estimated score: 5.5/6.0:

This essay has good organization and good use of language. To raise her score, the author should develop the third paragraph and the conclusion.

It can not be doubted that our eating style has encountered a revolutionary change in the last few decades. It is the change in the type of food that has had the greatest influence. Not only have the recipes of certain food types have been altered, but also absolutely new ones have been created. Examples include yet are not restricted to beef hamburgers, potato chips, and cola drinks. All of these changes contribute to making food preparation as fast and easy as possible. It cannot be neglected that modern cooking facilities play a dramatic role in this trend.

Some people regard this trend as a spoiler of our lives. Their argument focuses on two main points. First, many newly emerged types of food have not the essence of a "complete meal" as defined by nutritionists. To add to the problem, these food types are often served alone. In fact, there are many medical reports warning people from depending upon such fast meals in their food. Other reports indicate a high potential of malnutrition among those who are "addicted" to the common duet of burgers and cola.

Second, the advantage of gathering family members around a meal at home is lost. Fast prepared food types are usually eaten outside home. With the absence of regular family meetings, relationships are likely to be weaker.

Others think that fast prepared food types do improve our style of life. This opinion comes especially from busy people, working wives, and younger people. They believe that we have many things in life more important than eating. Time spent on food preparation is considered wasted by them. Wives will have more time to take care of their families' souls not just stomachs. Family relationships will get stronger. Business men and women will have more time to concentrate on their business without worrying about food arrangements. In general, people will have a greater opportunity to take care of their minds and hearts. Reports estimate the time spent on food arrangements as a large percentage of our lives.

I agree with that food preparation should take its necessary time and care. Otherwise, the time saved in food preparation can lead to longer times of headache or even of staying in hospitals suffering from malnutrition.

 estimated score: 5.5/6.0:

This essay has good organization and fairly good use of language. To raise the score, the author would first need to explain why people choose food that is easy to prepare rather than buy food that is fresh. Second, some of the language is awkward; for example, "Cooking in the yesteryears was much better than today's." is a somewhat awkward construction.

Nowadays, wherever we turn our gaze, we can see different types of food that are easier to prepare. For instance, we can buy frozen foods in a supermarket and just prepare it in a couple of minutes, whereas before it could have taken us maybe hours to prepare this kind of meals. I would accept that this so-called improvement has changed our lives, but I believe that there are some drawbacks as well.

It is true that these kinds of food do not involve hard work to prepare, but food that is easy to prepare generally has some artificial ingredients mixed in it that makes it "easy-to-cook". If we take time to read the ingredients, we would definitely come across words like preservatives or artificial flavorings. It was just a couple of days ago that I came across a newspaper article which stated that someone was poisoned because he ate this type of food. He was hospitalized for almost a month.

Not having to cook has also taken the fun out of cooking. Cooking is an art, but in today's world, this is no more true. People are so busy with their work that they just rely on this simple foods. The invention and production of this foods have made people lazy not only for cooking but also for a well family get-together. It was not like former times when families would sit together and eat freshly baked food. Instead, they are getting these artificial things with minimal nutrients in them.

Cooking in the yesteryears was much better than today's. People would spend more time in the kitchen, preparing the food in the way that they liked it. This brought families closer together and also contributed to the high quality and nutrition of the food. Granted, people are busier nowadays and do not have as much time as they did in the past, but I believe that people have forgotten the importance of healthy, fresh food and of the time a family spends together preparing the food. So, I would say that having food that is easy to prepare has had many disadvantages.

 estimated score: 4.5/6.0:

This essay has a very good introduction (by itself, the intro would score about 6.0), but the rest of the essay is not as developed as the introduction is. To raise her score, the author would need to develop the rest of the essay more so that it "matches" the introduction.

Nowadays, many types of food are easier to prepare than they were in the past and this, according to my opinion, has remarkably improved our lives. Let me justify my opinion.

In the past, people did not have modern appliances like microwave ovens, food processors, automatic cookers, etc. and food preparing was largely a manual work. Mostly, people used to take a lot of time to make fire from wood and cooking also took a long time. Apart from that the cleaning of the cooking utensils was also a though job. So a good amount of daily time was lost on cooking rather than on other productive aspects. I do not mean to say that food is not important, but if we could spend less time in cooking and more time in doing other works then we could make more progress in our lives. Today, due to the ease of food preparation we are able to devote more time to productive work and hence our lives have improved.

The new methods are not only easy they are more healthy as well. For instance, the food cooked in microwave ovens are much more healthy than the food cooked in conventional ovens or by other means, because microwaves use minimal amount of fats.

Apart from this, a lot of readymade food is also available in the market, which is ideal for people who are too busy to prepare their meals. Not only that, but meals can be easily ordered from restaurants for the people who are busy. This not only saves them time but also provides employment to many people who prepare food for them in the restaurants. So the people who are skilled in prparing food can also earn their living by doing what they want or enjoy to do.

So with easy access to food as well as convenient modes of food preparation, we have been able to improve our lifestyles and keep up with the development of the human race.

Some ideas of what to write about for a good score:

This type of food is usually not as nutritious as fresh food.

This type of food is usually more expensive than fresh food.

Preparing this type of food is usually much faster than preparing food "from scratch."

Cooking is a time when we can spend time with our families. If we spend less time cooking, we will spend less time with our families.

Cooking can also be a form of relaxation that we will lose if we spend less time cooking.

This type of food is a reflection of the pressures and stress of life in modern cities.

Having the option to prepare food more quickly can actually contribute to stress in our lives since we will feel the pressure to do more in less time by using these foods.

Most common errors with this essay topic:

• Failure to restate the topic is one of the most common errors that  sees in most essays. For example, many essays start like this: "I agree with this point..." We need to say something like this: "I agree that having food that is easy to prepare has improved our lives."
• Many essays talked about the importance of good nutrition. This point is related to the topic, but it is only a point, not the topic. In other words, we should not write an entire essay about the importance of good nutrition, just one paragraph.
• Some essays talked about the dangers of the technology associated preparing food, like radiation from a microwave oven. This is a minor point and should not be developed in the essay.

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